At the department’s December holiday party (which has advanced considerably in culinary quality since the lunch-meat days), faculty, staff, and students bid farewell to Linda Opper in anticipation of her February 1, 2016, retirement. We all know Linda as the department’s longtime administrative assistant, walking institutional memory, ace red-tape navigator, traffic cop to lost chemistry students, and patient parent to adolescent faculty. She has been our ever-competent Lieutenant Uhura, steadfast at her desk and computer, able to answer any question and meet all requests, the buffer between us and the arcane galaxy of college and administrative procedures. Linda started out in Gerontology in 1988, moved to History and the Turlington cell block in 1993 (before the department’s escape to Keene-Flint in 2001), and she has been an invaluable asset since. The department wishes her the best of luck in retirement and future endeavors, as it plods somewhat forward without her.